two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
