The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
