If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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