i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
