If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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