my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
