I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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