Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
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