Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
