Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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