i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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