I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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