I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
