Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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