So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
