The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
