I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
