Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
