Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
