I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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