i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am available for nakedness
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
