I intend to get homeless drunk
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
