Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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