return my video game
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
