the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We talked him into tasing himself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
