i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I booty called her while she was in labor.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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