Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
