Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
