two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
