Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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