I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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