i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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