he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
