Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
