i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
