its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
