Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
