I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
