we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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