I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
