I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
me + whiskey = a bad person
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
