...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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