fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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