Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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