There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
