Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
