how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
