If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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