No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
