I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
