glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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