I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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