Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I look better un-naked...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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