guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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