i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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